Enviro-Bear 2010 is a game made by crazy people, and they want you to be crazy, too. Part of it is that wonderful, weird type of insanity seen in games like Katamari Damacy, but it's also got an unhealthy dose of that pull-your-hair-out, what-the-hell-were-they-thinking sadistic school of game design.
In Enviro-Bear, you play as a bear driving a car. Not the most coordinated of beasts, this bear can only perform one action at a time, which you mimic by touching the screen to hold down his paw on the steering wheel, gear shift, or gas and brake pedals. You can also interact with items that fall into your car, like fish and berries, rocks and pinecones, or the occasional rabid badger.
That bear shouldn't drive when he's so stressed.
With a perspective set inside the car, Enviro-Bear looks like MS Paint exploded inside your iPhone. This jarring, ghastly color scheme truly makes you feel you are seeing the world through the eyes of a lunatic. Enviro-bear is also so nearly impossible to play that it just might be a joke you can play on your friends: "Hey, check this out! Give it a try… it's fun."
But the game is not fun. The idea of it is fun, and we enjoyed a few subtle touches, like the way the gas gauge shows your hunger level, not the car's fuel level. Using items from the environment to hold down the gas will help your bear drive a little bit, but it's still practically impossible to get to wherever you want to go. Unless you like practical jokes, don't bother buying this game, because if you do, the joke will be on you.
Editor's Note: Cheap Shot is a new review feature where we pick a game that costs $.99 or $1.99 and give it the quick review treatment. While you won't find a 1-4 score or our usual pros and cons, you will get a direct assessment of the game based on a one-hour playthrough. You'll still find our full-length, regular reviews for other games.
12 Comments
That is the craziest screenshot for any iPhone game I've ever seen.
I will never be the same after having seen that screenshot... omg.
this game is pure comedy genius; if you have anything approaching a sense of humour ignore the review above and just go and get it.
You have now awakened the wrath of Enviro-Bear. You have never seen road rage like you will see when Enviro-Bear drives his righteous wrath down upon you. Will he eat your face? No that is too easy. Enviro-Bear will hold a mirror to your soul, and force you to REALLY answer why you distain his environment. After the experience you will never be the same. Much the same can be said about this game. It is perfection. And obviously you never got to year 4, where Enviro-Bear dons a COON-SKIN hat for goodness sake!
The game is fun because it's very difficult to play. Surely I'm not the only one who enjoys frantically trying to navigate between trees to a berry bush while the car is full of rocks and an angry badger is trying to eat my face off. The premise is hysterical and the execution even more so. This is the funniest game I've played since Portal, and the controls are absolutely perfect given the setting. The reviewer missed the point completely.
Just played this game.... Made me wish I was on Crack-Cocain
This game makes me want to chew off my left hand.
I think that was what the bear did :D Or maybe the rabid badger?
This isn't really a game as much as an interactive cartoon. It's not "fun" as much as it's "funny" (and very funny.) You won't be playing this game for hours but you will be showing it to your friends. Possibly while drunk.
So I think this review is kind of harsh. If you don't get the joke, that's cool, but ragging on it because it's a bad game is really missing the point. It's a terrible game, but it's supposed to be. It's really funny and charming though and makes a great conversation piece. I think I've showed it to at least a dozen people in the past few days and every one of them burst out laughing.
Yes, this review is totally missing the point.
And Enviro-Bear 2010 (the first BIG joke) is just a masterpiece in the app store.
The devs did a perfect job and should have the names Trey Parker and Matt Stone :)
Enviro-Bear 2010 is an excellent, though frustrating game. Yes, I first bought it as a "hey, try this fun game" sort of app, but that fabulous bear grows on you. I soon found myself playing Enviro-Bear as often as Doodle Jump and after 8 bear years I can safely say that I am hooked.
P.S. Find a mushroom in the game and eat it. You won't be dissapointed.
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