Doomsday Preppers Review

Doomsday Preppers is one of those infamous reality TV shows that follows the lives of a series of unhinged individuals who, ironically enough, have a tenuous grasp on reality. This show’s ‘stars’ are all people who think that the end is indeed nigh, and highlights their attempts to prepare for the end. G5 Games has made a freemium title for iOS that serves as a tie-in to the series and, oh irony of ironies, is a game that has a tenuous grasp on actually being a game.

Doomsday Preppers takes the Tiny Towers template and turns it on its head. Literally. Instead of building to the sky, Doomsday Preppers has you building an underground bunker with different levels. The individual levels can be transformed into things every apocalypse survivor will need. Sleeping quarters, security rooms, gardens and rec rooms are just a few of the places you can build for your mole people. Afterall, who doesn’t need a foosball table while the sky is falling? As more people come to join your tribe, you can assign them to different rooms and different tasks.

A nuclear apocalypse is no excuse for bad Feng Shui.

You earn gold by producing items, and gold in turn is used to build new levels to your panic hole. Occasionally you’ll earn diamonds that will allow you to speed things up if you feel the need. And you will feel the need. Things happen so slowly in Doomsday Preppers that you’ll be wondering just how far off the freaking end of the world is.

Most of our time ‘playing’ this game would go like this: assign some tasks to our workers and put our device down while we would do the laundry, go see a movie or go to sleep, and then come back later to check their progress. Thankfully G5 has given us the option to spend exorbitant sums of our own money to make things go faster. That’s really swell of them. The game also crashes on a pretty regular basis, and when it does all of your progress up to that point is erased.

If that fish tank starts leaking, the medical bay is going to have a big, wet problem.

Doomsday Preppers is a boring, turgid, drudge of a game. Unless you want to spend large sums of money, then you can’t possibly make any kind of reasonable progress. And we can’t possibly imagine why anyone would want to. Doomsday Preppers barely qualifies as an actual game.

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