Cheap Shot: Cartoon Wars

Kids and the artistically challenged have something in common: stick figures. Cartoon Wars depicts them fighting color cartoon enemies, who have apparently enslaved them. Besides the possible cultural undertones of old technology and culture vs. new, the game is very lighthearted, but disappointing.

Besides having a clunky interface, the game’s presentation and implementation are shoddy. Once you get past its personality, there isn’t much more beneath the surface. For instance, the only way to learn the plot is by reading the app’s description. Not only that, but the tutorial is limited at best, and only one save slot exists.

Worst Heavy Metal cover ever.

The setup is simple. You have a tower, and they have a tower, both on a linear field. Your mana points rise, and with them you create stick figures, who go forth and attack their cartoon enemies ferociously (and without your guidance) until victory or death. Killing enemies earns you gold, which goes towards buying new types of units or upgrades. Unlike your enemy, you have a crossbow at the top of your tower, which pelts the baddies with arrows, but it has dreadful controls and inflicts friendly fire regularly, making it frustrating and deadly. The music is equally unsatisfying.

Despite all of this, the game is still very addictive (probably the reason behind its high sales). With eight types of units to unlock, the game keeps you coming back. However, we believe that it doesn’t offer the best type of addiction, with its clunky interface and total lack of depth. For $.99, a game like this is a great distraction, but with App Store pricing as unhinged as it always is, you can find a more in-depth game than this for the same price.

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