A.D.D. – Addictive Dumb Distractions Review

The parental warnings on the app description for ADD: Addictive Dumb Distractions sound like they’re describing a Tarantino movie: drug and alcohol references, profanity, sexual content and nudity, realistic violence. We don’t know what Apple’s got its rainbow-colored thong in a bunch for, because there’s nothing in ADD that isn’t in greater abundance in the American Pie movies, six of which are available to download on iTunes. No, what’s wrong with ADD is that it’s too short and repetitive, not that it’s too crude.

We actually enjoyed the juvenile humor of ADD. In a breakneck series of 70 or so microgames, which are divided into channels in the game’s main mode, you’ll pull out gooey boogers, blast your buddy’s head off with a shotgun, and scrub away bubbles to reveal a busty woman in the shower. It’s goofy and often surprising, but we do wish ADD could really roar with a true R rating.

Behold, iPerv.

As much as we liked the tone of the game, as an actual game it’s far too short and unsatisfying. The unchanging microgames start to repeat very quickly, often within the first dozen of each round, and a few of them are so utterly simple that once you know what to do they’re impossible to fail. For example, one has you firing off cannons. Just tap each of the four to shoot, in no particular order. While you might be halted for a few seconds the first time you come across this challenge (lewdly titled “Rub My Cannon”) you will almost certainly never fail it twice.

Compounding the game’s weaknesses are the lack of gameplay modes. The default campaign mode, confusingly titled “practice”, has you work through sets of challenges held together loosely by themes such as food, sex, or culture. However, without any real structure, these microgames can feel like total throwaways that you’ll be loathe to repeat when they come back again and again. If the game at least increased the challenge level by speeding up (like in the WarioWare games on which ADD is obviously based) then it would help introduce some necessary variety.

Tide keeps your colors brighter!

ADD does have hardcore (one life only) and quickplay modes, but you can still beat the game in about an hour. Also, since most of the microgames lack a challenge, you may not feel the need to master them just for the sake of online leaderboards. While ADD pushes the envelope in terms of its gross and suggestive content, it doesn’t manage to be a stellar game that we’ll want to revisit in the future.

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