What’s New? Monday 3/16/09

Three days a week, Slide To Play will be running a quick survey of new and notable games on the App Store for your viewing pleasure. Although we’re not necessarily reviewing these games immediately, they’ve caught our eye and made it into the Apps section of our iTunes account–for better or for worse.

Namco Networks snagged the iPhone license to one of the best/worst cartoons ever, Inspector Gadget, which we spent many an afternoon puzzling over as schoolchildren. Why doesn’t Gadget have any useful gadgets, like, yknow, weapons? In any case, Penny, Brain, the Gadget Copter and the Gadgetmobile all make appearances in this $4.99 platformer, and that was enough to make us investigate further.

Hey, how’d you like to pay $9.99 for access to a 4000-puzzle archive of the NYT’s finest, and a new puzzle every day? Depending on where you stand vis-a-vis crosswords, that could be an outrageous bargain or an unconscionable waste of money… Will Shortz’s handiwork doesn’t come cheap, does it? This app also has online leaderboards and allows you access to the paper’s front page, just in case you’re in too good of a mood.

Rasta Monkey isn’t the iPhone’s King of Swing, but he looks like an entertaining little fellow nonetheless, even if he never bends his arms or legs. The touch controls look like they’ll take some practice, but we dig the dubcore beats and far-out art style. The introductory price of $1.99 meets our threshold for an impulse buy.

We don’t care what you say–the App Store doesn’t have enough beat-’em-ups, so when we see something matching that description, we download it. Some of CastleGuard’s mechanics seem questionable (this will be the first beat-’em-up we’ve played where your character is a stationary turret), but you DO get both a flaming sword and a flaming bow to dispatch nasties with. We’ll wager 99 cents on it.

Look, it’s not what you think, OK? iSperm is a serious game about the miracle of human reproduction, and it’s finally in the App Store after “a tough submission process,” in the developer’s own words. Some of the gametes racing to reach the egg are decked out in bow ties; others have roses in their mouths, like tiny Latin lovers. That’s surely worth 99 cents, right? Right?!