Secret Exit Shoving Off Stair Dismount Touch

When Secret Exit’s Jani Kahrama talks, we listen: he’s given us the goods on SPiN and Zen Bound, and that’s a heck of a track record. Next up for the firm will be an iPhone version of Stair Dismount, a sadistic little freeware title that involves pushing a fully articulated dummy down a flight of stairs.

From Secret Exit’s tongue-in-cheek press release:

“Helsinki, March 9th, 2009 – Following the bipolar success of Zen Bound (the game in which nothing explodes), Secret Exit Headquarters has issued a formal statement denying the circulating rumors of a new Stair Dismount game being in development for iPhone and iPod touch.

‘Dismounting is morally reprehensible.’ says Jani Kahrama, Mismanager of Studio, ‘It would be irresponsible of us (before securing plausible deniability) to announce an entertainment product in which abstract visuals together with realistic physics-simulated behavior and disturbingly accurate sound effects enable people of moral stability to amuse themselves with explorations into the effects of directed force.’

Therefore, effective today, Secret Exit denies all facts about the ongoing development of such a game, Stair Dismount Touch. It is not in a playable shape, in late stages of development or available in the near future at a recession-friendly price point.

Features such as custom face support or a screen capture button for purpose of friendly email attachments are pure speculation and therefore vehemently denied.”

Oh, those crazy Finns! We suggest downloading Stair Dismount yourself and giving it a try. All it takes is a gentle push; gravity does the rest…