Tank Wars 2 is more of a massacre than a traditional war. In a war, you expect the other side to fight back. In Tank Wars 2, you’re firing on enemies who don’t move, shoot, or acknowledge your presence at all. They just sit there until you lob missiles into them, scrubbing them from the face of the earth. Frankly, it’s kind of messed up.
But that’s what you get in Tank Wars 2, a game that’s too stripped down for its own good. It’s so stripped down that there’s no tutorial. When you first boot up the game and press ‘New Game,’ the screen shows you a tank sitting still on the left side of the screen, some uneven terrain, a few tanks and towers spread across the ground, and a helicopter hovering up and down. This is the first level.
Draft beer, not people.
You’re left completely on your own to figure out what’s going on. By tapping the screen a few times and reading the tiny labels on the graphical user interface, you’ll grasp the idea pretty quickly, but it would have been nice to have had it spelled out clearly. All you do is drag your finger to aim your tank’s cannon, press fire, wait for the power meter to reach the desired strength, and tap fire again. This expels a missile from your cannon that arcs across the screen and lands.
If it hits an enemy or a tower, the unlucky person or structure blows up. You have twenty missiles to eradicate everything on the screen. Do so, and you move on to the next level. Fail, and you get a game over. There are no checkpoints or extra lives.
Eat lead, E.T.
That’s about it. The scenery changes for each level, as does the placement of the enemies and the jaggedness of the terrain, but all you do is select your firing trajectory and tap the fire button twice.
The game has leaderboards, as well as Bluetooth and pass-and-play multiplayer, but neither of these makes it interesting enough to keep you coming back. We like games that are simple and fun, but Tank Wars 2 is more simple than it is fun. In all likelihood, you’ll be bored of it before you can say, “Fire in the hole!”