Bailout Wars

Bailout Wars is a game from , originally released 31st December, 1969

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Cheap Shot: Bailout Wars

Rage at the Wall Street bank bailouts has not exactly resulted in torches and pitchforks or riots in the streets, but you wouldn’t know it by the angry mistreatment of fine-suited bankers in games like Squash the Street and Bailout Wars, which depict their violent deaths onscreen. A clone of Knights Onrush but without the level progression, Bailout Wars is not too big to fail.

It’s a tiny game, to be sure: Bailout Wars offers just three types of special attacks, a half-dozen enemy types, and one endless siege mode. It’s easy to tire of this game after more than a few playthroughs, and even with a lot of varied achievements through Gameloft Live, it definitely lacks depth.

Just another day at the White House.

However, Bailout Wars still features some great animation, like bankers who blow up or lose their suits when shaken down. The CEO minibosses who stomp towards your home base (a White House stuffed with cash) are especially funny, looking like caricatures from a nineteenth century political cartoon.

Special moves like sniper cover fire and a deadly space laser are amusing, but they barely change or grow over the course of the game. We can’t recommend Bailout Wars for its longevity, even if it is a decent use of your dollar. And at least that’s one dollar that the government won’t be handing over to greedy banks!