Hey iPhone! Hey, hey iPhone! You get your own game starring Annoying Orange, the YouTube phenomenon! Are you excited? No? Well, you’re an apple! nnnnhyahahahaha!–hey, wait. You are an Apple.
If that exchange made any sense to you, you’re likely a fan of Annoying Orange. If not, know this: There exists on YouTube an orange who makes bad puns, laughs at them nasally, and, more often than not, watches his fruit and veggie brethren get sliced and diced by knives and blenders.
So goes the premise for Annoying Orange: Kitchen Carnage. Using your finger, you flick the denizens of the kitchen– Apple, Tomato, Pineapple, Cantaloupe, and others– into blenders. The harder you flick, the harder your throw. The more fruits and veggies you can land in a blender, the faster your “juice” meter rises. When it’s full, you proceed to the next level.
It’s smoothy time.
There are ways to score bonus points/ juice, too. Some of Orange’s buddies make cameos from within cupboards, including Pear and Marshmallow. If you can whack them with a piece of doomed fruit, you earn more points. A cutting board also appears at random intervals: If you manage to land a piece of fruit on one, “Knife!” will appear and chop them into bite-sized bonus pieces.
Of course, Orange himself is tucked away at the top of the screen, forever commenting on the carnage below while remaining safe and sound above.
There’s not much to Annoying Orange: Kitchen Carnage except for achieving a high score and listening to Orange’s high-pitched tittering. Thing is, like Orange’s famous YouTube sketches, there’s something maddeningly addictive about the game. You should be able to put it down. You should be able to turn away and say, “This is dumb! Orange is dumb!” But it’s harder than you think. You will play, you will fall just short of the next level, and you will try again. And again.
Annoying Orange: Kitchen Carnage is a busy game, which is part of the reason it’s enthralling. You’re put on the spot for a lot of bizarre split-second decisions (“Throw the tomato in the blender, or take a chance and throw him at Marshmallow? Oh my God!”). When you come down to it, though, the App Store is hip-deep in twitch games. What really sets this one apart is the presence of Orange and his “pals.” In other words, if you’re a fan of the Annoying Orange, you will adore this game. If you wish he’d meet the wrong end of a Juice Loosener already, you might not be attracted to Kitchen Carnage, even though it’s a pretty fun game to play through.
(Vital note: You can turn off the fruits’ voices.)